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Incredibly Dumb Robber Voluntarily Gives Clerk Her Phone Number

Denise Myles
Akron Police Department

Look, if you’re robbing a video store in 2017, you probably didn’t graduate magna cum laude from criminal school.

A woman in Akron, Ohio robbed Family Video last week — but not before she gave a store employee her phone number.

So, let’s break this down by stupidity:

  1. She’s robbing a video store. How much money could there possibly be to take in a video store these days?
  2. She gave her own phone number. It’s like giving a road map to find you.

The woman walked to the counter to rent a DVD (yes, there are actually some stores that still do this), at which point the employee asked for her phone number to check her account, which she did, just like many a Blockbuster customer when they forgot their laminated membership card while trying to secure their copy of Steel Magnolias back in the early ’90s.

The suspect then slipped a note to the worker that she had a gun. The employee never saw a weapon, but said the woman made the motion like she had a gun with her hand, which she kept under her shirt (probably a move she picked up watching one of the many zany screwball comedies Family Video specializes in stocking). The woman zipped away with about $275. There were no injuries.

However, cops got the lead of a lifetime because of the phone number the woman left. She’s been identified as 41-year-old Denise Myles and, based on the fact they have a previous booking photo, we’re going to assume this was not her first foray into crime.

And while we poke fun of her stupidity, maybe she’s smarter than we realize: even though cops know her face and where she lives, she has yet to be apprehended.

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