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Very Strange Man Gets Penis Caught in a Wrench. And Then Things Go Really Wrong.

Wrench
Purestock

Well, this is some serious monkey (wrench) business.

A 37-year-old man in China had the dubious honor of getting his penis stuck in a wrench last week. It’s unclear why he had the tool on his tool, but he is single, so maybe we should just assume he was really lonely and wanted to experiment.

About 24 hours after the wrench clasped onto his winkie (which had turned purple), he went to the hospital. And here’s where it gets weird (yeah, it wasn’t weird before. Hard to believe, right?). Doctors had to get permission from the man’s parents to perform surgery, but his folks never went to the hospital to sign the necessary forms. We’re guessing they passed out when they heard their little pride and joy had put a wrench on his penis.

(And side note: how weird is the healthcare system in China that even when you’re an adult you need parental permission for surgery? That’s a bummer, but even more so when you decide to treat your junk like a tool shed. At least we don’t have to worry about this in the U.S.)

Because the parents never showed up, doctors were left scrambling and decided to call the fire department, who elected not to use a grinder out of fear they could hurt the man.

Medics then decided to call in a pair of dentists, who used a drill to remove the wrench. So, this story had a happy ending, which, as far as we can tell, may be what the man was trying to get in the first place.

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